Second step: Finish your DTR (define the relationship)! You two have a lot to talk about, especially considering summer is coming up and you don't want to leave without establishing where you are and what you're doing. He said he was going to ask you out, so wait for him to do that, but you can talk with him about things, like waiting for marriage and why he likes you, before entering into a relationship (I would not say yet that you are in a relationship, only that your feeling towards one another are out in the open). Since he has not asked you out yet I wouldn't worry about calling him your boyfriend or facebook. You just need to be like "Hey. So you know I like you. And you like me. So now we need to figure out what to do next." You two seem to spend a lot of time together, just find a time when you two are alone and talk about everything. Ask him those questions about why and when he started liking you. You can even ask about his past relationship if you think it's a good time. He already likes you, so now you two just need to figure out what you want.
Don't worry so much though, he likes you, he told you that. Just sit in that for awhile and don't worry about anything else. He likes you. He likes you. He likes you. Yay! Yay! Yay!
Okay, my turn.
So this weekend was Spring Gala (like prom for our college). Jon had asked me to go with him, and I said yes, but there was a symphony that used his art as a backdrop, so we went there before that. Actually, we did dinner at Ventura Harbor first, then the symphony, then Spring Gala. Dinner was really fun, we were totally overdressed, but it was really pretty overlooking the harbor and we just talked and hung out for a bit. And then he told me that his parents were going to be at the symphony. Now, this last minute notification didn't bother me much since his parents had just changed their tickets that morning, but I was a little nervous to meet them. After dinner we went over to where the symphony was playing and I got to hang out with some of Jon's artist friends and, being me, talked with some random older people who were there for the concert. Then Jon's parents came. His mom and I got on splendidly ( at least I thought so). His father was a bit less talkative, but we did get into a discussion about guns later in the night.
Alright, so Jon and I sat by each other during the concert, and after intermission he asked if he could put his arm around me. I figured we've been together long enough that that was okay, so I said he could. You know how I am, I don't really do physical, but it felt right. I felt comfortable with him doing that, and I liked how slow we had been going, and this was part of that. The symphony ended, we said goodbye to his parents, and left for the Gala. On the way I was talking to him about camping this weekend and told him that Lizzy, Carissa and I were leaving after Gala, at about one o'clock. He did not like that very much, and told me he didn't want us to leave that late at night. Now, maybe I overreacted, but to me this sounded like my father, and I didn't appreciate it. However, I did not say anything then, I just told him we were going to leave anyways and he had nothing to worry about.
We got to Gala, and I took of my shoes and danced with my friends for a good hour before it ended. Jon had spent most of the time talking with his friends, so we met back up and hung out with people for a bit longer before I needed to go back, change, and get ready to go camping. I told Jon and he decided to walk me back to my dorm. So this was about midnight, and I was extremely tired and pretty loopy because of it. I was walking like a drunk and looked over at Jon and said "I like you" and he looked back at me and said "I want to keep you". Super cute. Super innocent. BUT THEN! We got to my dorm room and I got out my key and he asked "Can I kiss you?" Out of nowhere! Like a train to my face! I quickly said "No" and continued to unlock the door. He said he understood and I told him to text me when he got home, and then shut the door.
I got changed, and went camping until Sunday. The entire time I was freaking out, going over in my head what happened, trying to figure out what to do. It really got to me. We had decided to take things slow, and kissing to me is anything but slow. I was frustrated that he asked me that, but I was more upset with myself because we hadn't talked about that, I hadn't told him my ideas on kissing or anything like that. How was he supposed to know that I didn't kiss? So I spent all weekend mulling this over in my head (and sunbathing and making s'mores). Sunday, after we got back, Lizzy and I went out to coffee and she asked about what I was going to do. I was very flustered and told her how when guys get close to me too close I freak out and end the relationship. She asked me whether this was going to be something to end the relationship over. Thinking it over, I told her that the idea of ending things with Jon made me want to cry, but all I could do was pray (which I had been doing all weekend).
When we left for church that night I still did not know exactly what to say to Jon, but I knew we needed to talk or I was going to continue to freak out till I ended it. When I walked in, Jon was already there, and he asked if we could talk. So we walked into the courtyard and he apologized for asking to kiss me, that he was glad I had said no because it would not have been the right thing to do, and how sorry he was for putting me in that position. I had not been expecting him to talk to me first, so I just said "it's okay" and told him it was something we needed to talk about more later. After church we talked for a bit about other things, but then we went back to the courtyard and I told him how his protectiveness about camping bothered me and my ideas on kissing. We talked for a good thirty minutes about it, and he was very understanding and even impressed by my thoughts. I told him how I had freaked out and I was worried that I was going to end it, and how he needed to be patient with me because that is how I am.
So we're back to going slow. He told me he was going to try and not mess up again, and I told him how I would never expect him to not make mistakes, but that I forgive him and will forgive him, because I want to be with him, and I am will screw up too. And how we need to make sure we have good communication so that we don't have an issue like this again.
Sorry, that was a bit long.
But yeah, communication is terribly important, so you and Hugo just need to find time and talk, get everything out in the open and be on the same page.
Don't forget, if you two are meant to be together God will show you and you can trust Him to be with you through this.
I freaking love you!!!
