"The Sound of Your Heart Is The Most Significant Sound In My World" - Eclipse
"Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat."- John Lehman
"After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, No hablo ingles."-Ronnie Shakes
"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it."- Jack Handey
"If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone."
- Jack Handey"Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words mank and ind. What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind."-Jack Handey
"One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don't run with wooden stakes."-Jack Handey
"Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights,even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door"-Jack Handey
"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night."- Charles M. Schulz
"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."- Dave Edison
"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."- Rita Mae Brown
"Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't."- Unknown"For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain."- Unknown
"Once in a while you have to take a break and visit yourself."-Audrey Diorgri"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I'm saying" -Oscar Wilde"There is no half-singing in the shower, you are either a rock star or an opera dive. -Josh Groban"I guess I just prefer to see that dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip. And chipped a tooth."-Janeane Garofalo
